


Dental Hygiene Under Duress

by Ladytalon



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Thirst
Genre: Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-10
Updated: 2010-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-10 01:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon





	Dental Hygiene Under Duress

Lenny folded his massive arms across his equally as massive chest and glared at her. "I ain't goin' in fer no doctorin'."

Buffy folded her arms across her chest, and glared right back. "It's the dentist, Leonard. And yes, you _are_ going."

"Ya cain't make me!" She calmly pulled her makeup compact out of her back pocket and opened it while he peered at it suspiciously. "What's that thang d-_ouch!_" Lenny flailed wildly as she held the mirrored part of it out the window, reflecting sunlight directly at him. "Quit that!"

"Are you going to the dentist?"

"Ain't nothin' wrong with mah… hey hey _hey_, I said knock that shit _off!_" Lenny heaved himself backwards to escape the reflected light, falling hard on his ass.

Buffy jiggled the compact meaningfully. "Are you going to the dentist?" she asked again.

A pair of furious blue eyes glared daggers at her from behind the sofa. "You gonna stop burnin' me?"

  


_   
** Dental Hygiene Under Duress**   
_

_ _ _ _

"Hold him," the dental hygienist said tersely, reaching for one of his tools. "If he bites my hand off, I'm filing suit against both of you."

"I bite yer hand, ya won't get no chance to see yer lawyer 'cause-" Lenny subsided when she reached for her compact. "I ain't gonna bite though, 'less you want-" The compact came out and started to open. "I won't bite," he finished sulkily.

"Open your mouth," Buffy directed him, ignoring the vampire's grumbles as he grudgingly obeyed. _I swear, he's worse than two year old twins._

"You might want to step back for this part, miss," she was advised. Lenny's eyes widened in alarm at the loud whirring of whatever machine the hygienist was using and Buffy hurriedly stepped back, wincing at the high-pitched whine as the tool began scraping away god-knew how many layers of filth on Lenny's teeth.

After four more hours – during which time the drill broke under the strain – the hygienist finally stood up and wiped his brow with a shaking hand. Lenny just looked completely shell-shocked by the whole ordeal. "Is he done?" Buffy asked, rubbing her aching temples. She paid, and hauled a still slightly-dazed Lenny after her. "If you're hungry, we can stop for some pig's blood on the way back… I need aspirin."

Lenny looked over at her, drew in a breath, and clapped his hands over his mouth with an unarticulated yowl.

"What's wrong with you _now?_"

"Mmph ffittth hrtthhh," Lenny moaned through his fingers.

"What?"

"Mmph _ffitth!_"

"Oh, your teeth hurt?" Lenny nodded vigorously. "Well that's what you get for not brushing your teeth in five hundred years."


End file.
